Days...

Days surely have passed away very quickly. Not a day passed without me thinking I have neglected this space. I clicked these pictures on the New year Eve. We had a fireworks display and they looked magnificent, just as you wish the life will be.

When it looks like they are showering you with its blessings, you are stuck with its splendid display.

It looked more brilliant than here, I don't think I will ever forget the sensation I had seeing this live.

Today marks the close of a period in many ways. It also marks a new beginning. Makes it very fitting that I should remember that moment in life that got fixed in mind for ever.

However old you become, I guess you never loose the kid in you...as I sit here writing this alone at home, with others already asleep, I think of the many birthdays that have gone by and look forward to another year that is on its way.

Thoughts of the Day ~ Learn...

Learn to laugh at yourself,

becomes easy to accept when others do.

Learn to learn lessons from small mistakes

gears you better to avoid bigger ones.

Learn to take pleasure at insignificant events

makes you feel blessed with greater ones.

Learn to enjoy what life offers

You never know what you will miss otherwise.

More than all, learn to love yourself

Makes it easy for others to love you better!

Thoughts of the Day ~ Life is like a salad!

Life is like a salad offered in a bowl.
It is left to you on how you dress it up!
Salt or Sweet, Hot or sour, what you pour into it
Steeps in, to bring out lasting taste, that lasts you a lifetime!

Perceptions ~ in passing moments!

On a speed limit that might sound crazy, I was zooming past the winds across the bridge. I am never reckless, only the cool breeze and the not so early morning, yet a cool one has that effect on me. I live for the moment, with the past hovering its shadows, a future bright with its silver lining. No other reason to think anything else than the moment that lifted my spirits.

I was minutes away from stepping into the office, the future still unknown. The future is always unknown. It is like moments pass away in oblivion and you are just a spectator.

Do I sound melancholic? I think yes, one feels so much light thinking there is always a touch of melancholy and you are trying to be above it. What's fun in all things being fun and cheerful. Where is that feeling of greatness that comes in when you realize you are the warrior fighting your way out in a dark world!

Perceptions ~ in the still moments of life!

I knew today that my child doesn't love me as much as I love my mother!
Maybe it is wrong to compare my love with what others can.
But still it hurts!
Maybe a child can only limit the mind to elevate the horizon to its boundaries.
Maybe I haven't given enough reasons to look up on me or put me on a pedestal.
But still it hurts!
For I don't want to be on a pedestal but in her heart, to reach out to me
when she finds herself in distress, to seek my embrace when on flight!
But still it hurts!
Knowing I have fallen short in my own perception of what I was!

Perfect Bull's eye!

There was a time when I was making the perfect bull's eye! It came with practice I had, by making it regularly for my brother. I don't think I can now, atleast on the first try. I guess it depends on how frequently used the pan is and how well practiced hand you have! What's with a bull's eye you ask? Well try it yourself.

Why all this sudden reference to bull's eye? Well in my mind, if I had ever a question to know what's perfect, I used to think I can hit it right on the spot by saying perfection can be easily traced to a bull's eye. Nothing else ever comes close to perfection. And knowing that, I also know it takes practice to get at it.

These were the musing running riot when I was on my way to office. The morning hours are what I refer to mayhem, trying to get ready on time. I am at my scatterbrains to see how I can get everything orchestrated to perfection. Mom and Dad keep consoling me that its another couple of years for the kids to grow up and then no such issues to worry about.

But then, couple of years later, we have new set of worries to handle. Is life ever without it? I don't think so, I am grown fonder of the issues that crop up, actually!

Life can only be perfect with all its imperfect deeds or so I think!

This too shall pass!

...how very true. I don't know exactly when I read this line. But ever since then it has always been back on my minds. Whether one thinks of it at times of happiness or not, at times of distress, this line surely comes to mind.

I remember this being associated to some Chinese fable, some Indian story too. But the latest it being related to seems to be with King Solomon. Whatever, it holds true so much!

I get solace reading these lines at this time, when things are really so hectic at home. With kids being so naughty and pressing for so much attention, I remember Konda growing up and remember this line. I take solace knowing This too shall pass!

Are you having fun?

...I mean are you really enjoying your life, doing whatever you are doing? I think you should think about it again if you think you haven't!

Life at times feels very hectic. There are times when almost think I should just take a break. But then it can't happen right! I am too deep into all the things I am right now to even think otherwise.

There was a time when I thought, left with the option of not ever becoming what I wanted too, what would I do with my life. Well surprise, surprise, life has its own design for each of us. And I am here now doing whatever I am supposed too.

Doing so many things with such high pressures mounting all the time, there are moments when I feel should I really take up so much. Though surely I know the moment I do something like that, I will be left feeling emptiness swallowing me!

Still all said and done, I am enjoying myself. Staying up very late into night, working on my posts, researching for the book, editing my pictures, in between taking a peek at the kids sleeping, then rushing back to catch up with whatever I was doing. Finally reluctantly switching off the PC, to hit the pillow. Seeing my small family (:)) sleeping, rest assured that momma will surely take ages to join them!

Frenzy sleep that refuses to come, with so many other ideas hitting at the wrong time. How I wished I had my laptop handy while sleeping also...That does sound crazy right, at least it surely does to me. So I strongly curb the urge and get back to sleep.

Body clock strikes on time, depending on whether I planned my morning cooking or not will see me literally running around. Guess that will surely run for many posts, if I ever want to fill in those details. Finally with kids all packed and sent, I again have a marathon to do to reach office on time.

Most days only after I hit my chair, I take a breath! Life is surely fun to live!

Another day!

Recently a colleague of mine came back from a vacation, it was only for couple of days. But the feelings and the rejuvenation he was expressing sound just too good to be true. But he confirmed it was. He said he didn't want to get back from those hills. He was trying to explain me how that place looked and I was imagining and visualizing on how it might look. Of course there has never been a time when I was correct in guessing a place on its looks. But I kind of liked the idea of getting away from this maddening crowd and being alone, that is if I can ever get away.

Have you ever felt the need to be alone? Growing up, I had loads of such times. Parents never intruded into what I was doing. I used to spend painting, or listening to KK songs, or even just gazing! I love gazing at the stars and the moon. How does the Moon look to you or rather looks at you?

To me since the time I can remember the chanda mama always had a face on it, ever smiling! I even felt it wore a sad look when I was sad, giving me company! And it was my company on many such alone times. If there was one entity that was always been with me through thick and thin, its chanda mama.

See how random the thoughts fly! Coming back to the original thinking, I wish I take few minutes to ponder on what I am doing. For ever its a big list that I need to complete. So much so that I was feeling awful hearing what Konda told me couple of days back. She asked me to forget my work and continue sleeping with them. I was surprised on her statement. She expressed further saying, "now you get back to your computer once we sleep right, why don't you just forget that and continue your sleep" I said "I have work nana." She said "that's what you do the whole day right?" Now how do I reply to that? As luck would have it she went off to sleep before I could respond, but I am still left with the question burning!

From when did this pastime, hobby turn into an obsession! Well whatever it is, I am enjoying it! I am still learning..every second of it..

Memories of a Vacation!

Its been a year today. Last year this day, we were at parent's home in Calcutta and this year they have relocated to a different country! It was my second trip to the City of Joy and the journey kindled the joyfully memories of my first visit. I had fallen in love with the city I visited. It wasn't at all what I heard about the place. Everybody said it was dirty and crowded and pathetic. But all I could see was a beautiful place with huge buildings that portrayed history and beauty that went along with it. We had visited all the places of interest during that time. This time since it was with kids we went, we really didn't have that all that energy needed to tag along the whole family for sight seeing. Even then Daddy wouldn't leave us alone. He ensured we atleast took the kids for a trip around the city. We reached the airport by 3 am and had a very eventful trip down to Calcutta. It was my first trip and it was really very foggy. Till the last moment, we weren't sure if the flight will take off or not. After a nerve wrecking two hours of wait, we finally took off.

The kids had made themselves at home in the flight much to the discomfort of everybody. It was really so much fun. The air hostess couldn't understand why my boys can't sit in their seats for more than 2 minutes. Well finally we reached Calcutta. The feeling was simply superb! It felt like homecoming, the last trip was so memorable, I could live it again. That time, Dad had taken us on the Jetty across River Ganges. We had gone under the bridge and it was so exhilarating. We were just four of us then. Now with my own family, I know I couldn't be seen as that bubbly teenager right? Still I couldn't but be that!

The excitement I had was passed on to my kids and they were trilled too. I was seeing Amma after many months. They were living in the 13th flour and it was wonderful going up so high. Amma was waiting with the Arti for the kids. And after a warm hug from her to all of us, I finally had a good look at Amma. She had gone down so much. The house was too big for them but kids had a field day running around the whole house.

It was surprising how well Amma managed with the minimum utensils but she managed a whole big feast with that. Back home, she has a utensil for each size and shape! The one whole week we stayed was an experience we can never forget. That was the first time we had infact ever stayed at home without doing anything, except cooking, feeding the kids and playing with them. I guess the thought that we were with our parents was enough to set all things right.

More than anything, the festive mood the city adorned was infectious. The whole city was celebrating Christmas eve. Everywhere it was brightly lit and people were so happy and enjoying themselves. I came to know that the city enjoys all festivals with equal fervor! How wonderful! It was the first time I was seeing streets full of things for Christmas, with Caps and balloons for Santa Claus. It was like the whole city was rejoicing our arrival. On the Christmas day, we had a Santa Claus visiting us. He got us cake and chocolates for the kids. The kids were overjoyed seeing the Santa and were jumping around. Then once he left, we all flocked together to cut the cake.

Everyday year, we always have this tradition of cutting a plum cake and then Dad and Hubby dear enjoy a piece with a glass of wine. I always remember our christian neighbors sending us cakes on the day. Then after a while, we realized we didn't have anybody sending it across. So one year when Amma was mentioning this, hubby dear and bro decided to get the cake for her. Thus started this tradition of getting a cake and enjoying it over the lunch or dinner!

So it happened that last year too it was spent with parents with a piece of cake and a glass of wine. Hubby dear was missing Dad this year as I was. I was still thinking of last years Christmas carols and the Celebrations the apartments had downstairs. We didn't go down to be part of them, we were content being at home with parents and our little ones. Cuddling them closer was more precious than anything else.

The remaining days passed off in a blur or so I thought. But yes the memories were itched quite strongly in our hearts that they gush in the moment I think of them. The thoughts were so strong that I had to speak to Dad and Mom. Maybe its vibes or something, they said they were also thinking about last Christmas, the time we were all together!.Dad was having two days off as Christmas holidays and they were having in guests for dinner. I thought I will skip the cake ceremony this year. 

But God has his ways I suppose. My friend wished me seasonal greetings with a box of plum cake. When I took it home, the kids were elated seeing the box. Peddu infact sang happy birthday song when I was cutting the cake. I was surprised he remembers that one has to sing that song while cutting a cake! Then he said its his birthday too along with Chinnu. Of course not in clear statement but in his own baby language.

Even as I write this, I remember last year. I close down with hopes that next year, we will all spend the vacation together! Maybe that time I will update on this year's happenings!

Collection of Poems ~ Memory of Love!

These are some staggering thoughts penned down in couplets and prose. I may in my fancy, call these as poems. But they are just expressions of thoughts as they came to mind. Mostly occurred during the early 20s of my life. Of course, hope I can be forgiven for thinking too glamorous as these a work of art! If any complaints, I point to the muse attacks at odd times!


Memory of Love!

Every Step, Step by Step adds to
The voyage of Life!
In the rustle and bustle of busy life
No time to pause to think and to feel.
Some moments come only to few
Which are the suspended phase of life.
It is a moment always frozen in time
Which has exalted feelings and emotions.
With the visionary beauty of being in love.
And we spend the rest of our mundane life
in the memory of that Love!

Time!

Time is like being in a pool of water.
Can only feel it, can never hold it.
As you pave your way through waters,
Clear Crystal blue, cool air touching you by
You feel something passing you by.
Time is like that too.
Everyday in and out, makes you feel
A presence so divine. But try holding it,
You can never.
Yesterday is a dream, you dreamt.
Tomorrow is still a hope. yet to come.
Present is all we have. But its like the
Fist trying to squeeze water. Nothing
stays behind except your fist.
So take care what do you now for this
is all you with you!

MOMENTS IN LIFE!

There are moments in life when you miss someone

so much that you just want to pick them from

your dreams and hug them for real!



When the door of happiness closes, another opens;

But often times we look so long at the

Closed door that we don't see the one,

Which has been opened for us



Don't go for looks; they can deceive.

Don't go for wealth; even that fades away.

Go for someone who makes you smile,

Because it takes only a smile to

Make a dark day seem bright.

Find the one that makes your heart smile.



Dream what you want to dream;

Go where you want to go;

Be what you want to be,

Because you have only one life

And one chance to do all the things

You want to do.



May you have enough happiness to make you sweet

Enough trials to make you strong,

Enough sorrow to keep you human and

Enough hope to make you happy.



The happiest of people don't necessarily

Have the best of everything;

They just make the most of

Everything that comes along their way.



The brightest future will always

Be based on a forgotten past;

You can't go forward in life until

You let go of your past failures and heartaches.



When you were born, you were crying

And everyone around you was smiling.

Live your life so at the end,

You 're the one who is smiling and everyone

Around you is crying.
Don't count the years - count the memories

Seasons In The Sun

Goodbye to you my trusted friend
We've known each other since we were nine or ten
Together we've climbed hills and trees
Learned of love and ABC's
Skinned our hearts and skinned our knees
Goodbye my friend it's hard to die
When all the birds are singing in the sky
Now that spring is in the air
Pretty girls are everywhere
Think of me and I'll be there

We had joy, we had fun
we had seasons in the sun
But the hills that we climbed
Were just seasons out of time

Goodbye Papa please pray for me
I was the black sheep of the family
You tried to teach me right from wrong
Too much wine and too much song
Wonder how I got along
Goodbye Papa it's hard to die
When all the birds are singing in the sky
Now that the spring is in the air
Little children everywhere
When you see them, I'll be there

We had joy, we had fun
We had seasons in the sun
But the wine and the song
Like the seasons have all gone
We had joy, we had fun
We had seasons in the sun
But the wine and the song
Like the seasons have all gone

Goodbye Michelle my little one
You gave me love and helped me find the sun
And every time that I was down
You would always come around
And get my feet back on the ground
Goodbye Michelle it's hard to die
When all the birds are singing in the sky
Now that the spring is in the air
With the flowers everywhere
I wish that we could both be there